Surreal Stories from the Hidden World of Hotels
Episode 4 - If you don't have a plan, someone might get punched in the face
I had a thirty-year career at a hotel company that didn’t want to hire me. The journey from being “too old, too educated”, and having “too many opinions” to qualify as a hotel security guard to being awarded the company’s highest individual honour, to being selected by my peers as the world’s most influential corporate security executive, was one of non-stop experiences, spanning everything you can imagine, and a lot that you can’t! From “wait, what” to “OMG” to “I’m pinching myself, but I’m not waking up”, sooner or later, a career in hotels will expose you to all life has to offer.
In this series, twice weekly, I’ll share stories from behind the scenes in the world’s greatest job in the world’s most fun and rewarding (at least educationally rewarding) industry.
By the end of the series, you’ll agree that working in security is the best hotel education one can receive, and you’ll wonder why many hotels and hotel groups are run by former cooks and accountants instead of former hotel security guards. (Yes, I’m being sarcastic… more or less)
“We did it! We got the contract! Mike Tyson will be staying with us when he comes to Denmark!”
There are times when you wonder if sales directors live on a different planet.
Mike Tyson was a ferocious boxer that struck fear in the hearts of every opponent he faced.
By 2001, there’s no doubt that his career was fading, but he remained a feared opponent. Outside the ring, he’d had numerous run-ins with the law, spent time in prison after being convicted of rape and, later, assault. In August 2001, he was again accused of rape, although no charges were brought against him.
The rape he’d been convicted of took place in a hotel room and numerous were the stories of unwelcome behaviour in hotels when he and his entourage visited.
Still, he was a celebrity, and in the eyes of some hoteliers and sales directors, that meant he was an attractive prospect.
All PR is good PR as the saying goes.
“We’ll need to make a plan.”, I said. Others in the hotel management team stared at me with less-than-satisfied looks on their faces, hopeful that the security manager who spoke Danish with a horrible Norwegian accent wasn’t going to torpedo the opportunity of headlines everywhere from the sports pages to the glossy magazines.
Nonetheless, a meeting was set up with Mike Tyson’s manager, an amicable enough fellow, but one who made it clear the meeting was unnecessary because they were used to staying in deluxe hotels and would be paying a good rate.
Fortunately, we had hired a local security company that was comprised of extremely competent professionals. The company had bailed us out big time on New Year’s Eve, 1999. Their employees were close protection specialists and used to dealing with celebrities. The market for bodyguards in Denmark wasn’t very big, but the hotel contract allowed them to employ their people full-time in an environment that would be somewhat similar to the environments they would experience if and when they accompanied VIPs to events or on foreign travel. It was a win-win. We got highly qualified security personnel and they in turn were fully employed.
I met with the security company’s leaders and a plan was hatched to do what we could to ensure that no one would be harmed during the famous boxer’s stay. (Except perhaps, his opponent, but the fight wasn’t scheduled to take place in our hotel, and the pre-fight press conference in our ballroom was included in the plan that was drawn up and presented to the boxer’s manager and the local promoter.
We explained the roles of each of the extra security personnel the hotel would employ during the visit. We also explained what the hourly rate of each extra security person was and that the cost would be added to the final bill.
“That’s very nice of you to offer all that”, the manager said, “but it’s not necessary. Mike has his own security team.”
“His security is for his security”, I said. “Our security is to ensure the security of other guests and staff and to ensure that the smooth operation of the hotel isn’t disrupted. It’s not an offer. We’re just explaining what will be done, how it will be done, and what it will cost.”
We guaranteed that the celebrity delegation wouldn’t be disrupted. They could come and go any time, 24/7. An elevator would be at their disposal and would whisk them to and from their floor without stopping. They would be enjoying the same level of service that visiting heads of state enjoyed.
Our terms were accepted almost without question.
All week long, the lobby bar was packed with journalists, pens and cameras at the ready, just waiting for the scandal that never came.
Members of the group came and went as they pleased. They even spent time in bars and nightclubs out on the town, but while they were in the hotel we had no complaints.
One of the journalists who had spent the week in the lobby bar drinking exceptional amounts of coffee wrote in his column that it was his most boring assignment ever. He said rumours were rife among the scandal-seeking paparazzi that the famous bad guy from Brooklyn wasn’t even staying in the hotel.
Mike Tyson won his fight against the big Dane, Super Brian Nielsen. There were rumours that Mike loved the city and wanted to buy an apartment. He didn’t buy or rent one, but he did stay in Europe.
As promised when he left the country, Mike and the group returned to Copenhagen about a week later. Our hotel had a government delegation booked in the suite and was running at a very high occupancy. We didn’t have room for the boxing celebrity and his entourage, so they booked into one of the city’s most luxurious and expensive hotels.
Shortly thereafter, the newspaper that had proclaimed how boring it was to wait for a scandal in our hotel, got the headline they were looking for:
Translated from Danish, the headline reads: “Tyson’s people create fear in hotel”. It includes interviews with a hotel owner from elsewhere in Denmark alleging he and an acquaintance were assaulted when they tried to enter an elevator that was being blocked by one of Tyson’s bodyguards.
The article used phrases like “they behaved like a hit squad from a gang of thugs”. It also says, hardly hiding the insinuation of why, that young women visited the floor the delegation was staying on and that two of the women left the hotel together with a couple of the Tyson entourage members.
The final lines of the article are derogatory remarks allegedly yelled at the journalist and photographer along with an alleged threat of rape.
Perhaps all PR isn’t good PR after all?
One of Mike Tyson’s famous quotes is “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”
When running workshops aimed at helping hotels prepare for higher-risk visits from public figures, I introduced them to my adapted version of that famous quote:
“If you don’t have a plan, someone might get punched in the face.”
In my experience, celebrities can be very expensive experiences for hotels, and it’s important for hotels to consider the risks from different angles, including internal ones.
Some of our team members were disappointed when Paris Hilton visited Copenhagen in 2008. Apparently, her visit wasn’t something the employees enjoyed in the hotel she chose. A leaked photo of her folio account at the hotel was prominently posted in a front-page article in Denmark’s largest gossip magazine. It showed that the hotel gave the $ 12,000 dollar room to her for free.
When I was still relatively early in my career in Norway, a journalist asked me why our hotel never hosted celebrities. We did on occasion, but Michael Jackson was in town, and he wasn’t staying with us.
“We prefer real VIP’s”, I quipped, “they pay better.”
Stay safe, Always Care
Written with the clarity of hindsight, the accuracy of a faded memory, and countless creative liberties, 87 Stories is a journal of how my gap year lasted four decades, made me an emigrant, an immigrant and gave me a life I never dreamed of.
This current series gives a behind-the-scenes look at the wacky, wonderful world of hotels from the eyes of a university dropout who had a storied, basement-to-boardroom career in hotel security. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the episodes in the pipeline!
Here are the links to earlier episodes:
Episode 1 - The Office on the 15th floor
Episode 2 - The CEO and the empty safe
In a coming article, we’ll look at why the “Boss” is a celebrity I would always welcome into our hotels. On a lighter side, there will also be an article about how fire safety measures led to a situation where I hunted down a famous author’s naked wife in the corridors of a high-rise hotel…
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