Shortly before I left on my recent trip to Georgia to facilitate human trafficking awareness workshops for UN Migration, the resident who produces the newsletter at the complex where my parents live asked me to write a Father’s Day article for their monthly publication.
Here’s what I wrote:
Forty Years of Separation
People sometimes ask what kind of father would send his kid off on a gap year to Europe in 1978 and continue to love and support that kid when he chose not to return home when the year was over?
While I lived in Europe, people often thought I had a bad relationship with my parents since I rarely travelled to Canada. When I came here on holiday, people asked what was wrong with my family since I chose to live so far away from them.
I like to joke that my high school graduation present was a one-way ticket to Norway… and I took the hint. The first part is true; the fact that I extended my gap year into four decades was entirely my own choice.
My Dad was the main reason why I left for Europe in 1978. It was 75% his fault for suggesting it and 25% mine because I didn’t know what to do after high school, and being naturally lazy, I figured a year in Europe would be easier than doing something constructive with my life.
It wasn’t as easy as I thought, but it opened my eyes and gave me new perspectives on our world. I credit my family, and especially my Dad, for preparing me to understand those perspectives.
My Dad Was More Tolerant Than My Grade Four Principal
When I was a kid, Dad tucked me in at night. I always begged him to leave the light on in the hallway, and he always obliged. When I couldn’t sleep, I’d turn the dial until I found something interesting on the radio. Sometimes it was talk radio from the US, which we didn’t have here in the early 70s. Other times, it was Radio Moscow, and that once earned me a trip to the principal’s office at Glenmore Elementary. (“Potential communist in Miss Reeves’ Grade Four class!” – in reality, I was just inquisitive, and fortunately, the principal understood.)
I always liked hearing different opinions, and I wasn’t often afraid of expressing my own.
When the inevitable family arguments ensued at the dinner table, Dad did something lots of dads didn’t.
He listened.
We had many wide-ranging discussions, especially during my teenage years. It was only later, when our own teenager was expressing her opinions, that I understood what my father had done. I did my best to emulate him.
Our daughter was never allowed to run to her room and slam the door. We had the couch. We listened. We discussed. We didn’t end up agreeing with each other, but it formed a powerful bond built on respect.
Just like the one I have with my dad.
My Dad Taught Me All About Customer Service
I spent my entire career in hospitality, starting as a security guard at a five-star hotel. Hotels are like a mini-society. Anything that can happen in the big, wide world can and will happen in a hotel. No matter what happens, it should always be managed with a clear understanding that you’re dealing with people.
Dad taught me how to treat everyone as an individual who deserved respect. Shortly after getting my driver’s license, I remember picking him up from work at the drugstore. We stopped to deliver prescriptions at several homes. “They don’t speak much English”, he said or, “they’re sometimes afraid to come to the store.”
During my career, I travelled to over sixty countries. Most of our hotels were kaleidoscopes of humanity. Whether dealing with a frightened foreigner who was ill, an underpaid worker worried about their future, or a man living on the streets trying to escape from the cold on Christmas Eve, Dad’s way of treating people was in the back of my mind, guiding me to remember that everyone deserves understanding and respect.
As I rose through the ranks and became head of global security for a major hotel company, we struggled to get our hotels and their employees to focus on safety and security. To most, even owners and managers, security was just another cost on the expense budget.
My Dad Taught Me to Care - And Mom Was In On It Too!
It may not have been a conscious decision, but I know that the way my dad taught me to view the world was a major factor in how we developed a world-leading hotel safety and security programme.
It all came down to one word – Care.
Safety and security in our company were summed up in a few simple phrases. Care about people. Care about property. Care about the world around you. Always Care.
It wasn’t your average security jargon, but my dad isn’t an average Dad. Thanks, Dad, for giving me the foundation I have always been able to rely on.
Happy Father’s Day!
“Things happen for a reason!”
My wife, Kirsten, has been telling me that for a quarter century.
It’s time I started to believe her.
Just before departing from Tbilisi for Amsterdam to return home, I received a notification that my onward connection had been cancelled.
When we landed in Amsterdam five hours later, the notification was updated. It said I would be rebooked on a flight 24 hours later.
I was the only happy person in queue at the transfer desk.
The delay meant I could catch a train to Den Haag and enjoy a delightful dad-daughter dinner!
An early Father’s Day present of the best possible kind for me.
Flashback to last week
Last week’s post was a review of The Purpose of Purpose by Ron Tite. It’s not your average book review. It contains my key takes on each chapter, with additional stories inspired by the chapter themes. It was long, so I also posted each chapter review separately in Substack Notes during the past week.
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Hi! I’m Paul.
I was born, raised, and currently live in Canada. After high school, I embarked on a gap year in Europe. It lasted four decades. I went to university in Norway and started my hotel career in the basement of a five-star hotel in Oslo. The manager who hired me told me I was too old, too educated, and had too many opinions to be a security guard. He also told me that the only other person who applied for the job didn’t want it.
Thirty years later, I left that same company. It had grown from a small regional hotel chain with twenty-something hotels in Scandinavia to become a large, multi-brand hotel group with over a thousand hotels in almost one hundred countries.
Along the way, I moved from Norway to Denmark to Belgium. Before I left, the company awarded me their highest individual honour for leadership, and security professional peers selected me as the world’s most influential corporate security executive.
I’m a hospitality professional. I’m a security professional. If you ask, I will tell you that security was my job, and hospitality was my business.
Today, I’m an educator and a consultant passionate about hotels, hospitality, and keeping people safe during their travels.
In addition to the Always Care Community, I also write for Risk Resiliency’s Keep Travel Safe. If safe, secure hospitality, hotels, and travel are important to you, please subscribe to KTS!
Written with the clarity of hindsight, the accuracy of a faded memory, and countless creative liberties, the Always Care Community is a newsletter of how life has made me an emigrant, an immigrant, and gifted me experiences I never dreamed possible.
Thanks for reading. Your support is my motivation and I’m genuinely grateful that you’re here. Please share, subscribe, and connect with me.
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